User:Jono

Hubcaps missing? Wife come home a little worse for wear? Chances are this Silly Scouse is involved. Place various food items with melted cheese around your home and other personal items and it should keep him away.

If you wish to trap the Silly Scouse place bacon and donner meat laced with maple syrup on a hubcap in your kitchen window and he'll succumb to a food coma, for an extra precaution include a couple pints of ale.

Word of warning, this creature does not like to be trapped. He will fight back. He usually uses one of the three approaches listed below:

1) Cute, innocent, and cuddly.. He'll sweep you off your feet and fill your heart with joy before he rips it out and does a Mexican Hat Dance on it.

2) Shoot you in the face.. Or miss. Either way, he'll shoot at you.

3) Playing drunk.. His best tactic. He's got it mastered. He'll blind you with typos and then say "twoodles" before he passes out, usually on his keyboard or leaning back in his chair.

If you wish to ruffle the Silly Scouse's feathers be sure to use his mating call. It's simple, just moan the following as loud and as deep as you can "Mushmonkey". He'll come running. The longer and more drawn out the utterance is the more enthusiastically he will respond.